Murphy’s Laws on Technology

by techtiptom

Originally posted to wibc.com on 11/21/2011

“Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.”

“If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.”

“An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.”

“All’s well that ends.”

“A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.”

“To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.”

“A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.”

“Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.”

“Some people manage by the book, even though they don’t know who wrote the book or even what book.”

“The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.”

“To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.”

“A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.”

“Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.”

“When all else fails, read the instructions.”

“Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.”

“Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.”

“There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.”

“Any given program, when running, is obsolete.”

“If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.”

“If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.”

“The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.”

“Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.”

“Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.”

“Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.”

“Any cool program always requires more memory than you have.”

“When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space.”

“Disks are always full. It is futile to try to get more disk space. Data expands to fill any void.”

“If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash.”

“If such a program has not crashed yet, it is waiting for a critical moment before it crashes.”

“No matter how good of a deal you get on computer components, the price will always drop immediately after the purchase.”

Advertisements