Medical Terms

by techtiptom

Originally posted on WIBC.com on 09/22/2009:

I was going through some old boxes the other day, and I ran across this list from when I was with the 113th Medical Battalion of the Indiana National Guard. I thought I would share them with you!

Medical terminology

Artery — Study of paintings

Bacteria — Back door of cafeteria

Barium — What doctors do when treatment fails

Bowel — Letter like A.E.I.O.U

Caesarean section — District in Rome

Cat scan — Searching for kitty

Cauterize — Made eye contact with her

Colic — Sheep dog

Coma — A punctuation mark

Congenital — Friendly

D&C — Where Washington is

Diarrhea — Journal of daily events

Dilate — To live long

Enema — Not a friend

Fester — Quicker

Fibula — A small lie

G.I. Series — Soldiers’ ball game

Grippe — Suitcase

Hangnail — Coathook

Impotent — Distinguished, well known

Intense pain — Torture in a teepee

Labor pain — Got hurt at work

Medical staff — Doctor’s cane

Morbid — Higher offer

Nitrate — Cheaper than day rate

Node — Was aware of

Outpatient — Person who had fainted

Pelvis — Cousin of Elvis

Post operative — Letter carrier

Protein — Favoring young people

Rectum — It almost killed him

Recovery room — Place to do upholstery

Rheumatic — Amorous

Scar — Rolled tobacco leaf

Secretion — Hiding anything

Seizure — Roman emperor

Serology — Study of knighthood

Tablet — Small table

Terminal illness — Sickness at airport

Tibia — Country in North Africa

Tumor — An extra pair

Urine — Opposite of you’re out

Varicose — Located nearby

Vein — Conceited

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